i'm bored.
i sincerely need to develop more of a social life.


i could be using this time to write
my book isn't going to write itself, and some new poems couldn't hurt
but instead i'm bs-ing online
looking at random pairs of shoes and the occassional dress.

*sigh*

some part of me wants to call that nut ass dude
some affection never hurt anyone
and i've been lacking in the hugs and kisses department for awhile
other parts of me would just rather stay at home and finish watching the addams family

i wonder which parts are gonna win out.

plus, i feel bad sometimes
it feels as if i'm taking advantage
he said that he loves me
and i feel nothing
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
its just that i can sit and be silent at his house
well... not really. i can sit and ignore him and be silent.

i would just go and smoke a newport
but i gave them up (again)
the last cig i had was on wed

...i'm bored.

so, so bored...